I usually don't write too much on this blog... I typically just upload enough photos to keep family and far away friends up to date with how the boys are growing. Yet, I feel compelled to share a little bit more than just photos this time around.
Since Hunter has been born, we (john and i) have been faced with new challenges. Yes, we are chasing an almost 2 year old around the house and finally getting to sleep through the night now that Hunter sleeps 10 hours at night... but, the challenges we face are slightly more than adding a new baby to the mix. I was diagnosed with cardiomyopathy... we were told we could have no more children... i underwent a surgical procedure where it was found that i'm at high risk for sudden cardiac death... and, thus, the very next day, i had a defibrillator placed in my chest. More than likely, I'll be on medication for the rest of my life. It's been 2 1/2 weeks.... a long 2 1/2 weeks... a trying 2 1/2 weeks... and yet, in a wierd and unorthodox way, i wouldn't change our current circumstances.
Why? Well, for many reasons... among them being: 1) It is amazing how much one is drawn to the Lord when you are faced with your own mortality. Each of our lives is brief... but a breath, according to scripture. The Lord has numbered our days, and this reminder has made me even more bold in living a life that is honoring to my Creator. I am here for a purpose, and I hope that I will be persistent in fulfilling that purpose.
2) It has brought John and I closer in our marriage. Our love for one another has grown stronger, and we are more patient and supportive and selfless in our actions and words.
3) This circumstance has allowed me to draw closer to my family... I grew up in a family where our emotions were suppressed and not spoken. Now, that is beginning to change. And, I hope it stays that way.
A friend, Angela, shared something on her blog not too long ago that spoke directly to my heart... I hope that it is okay that I share her entry below...
Thank you all for your continued prayers as I continue to heal physically and as we begin to heal emotionally. with love, julie
entry from Angela...
Tell Me These Things26Sep09
Yesterday in our book group, we were discussing suffering. Honestly, I haven’t endured a lot of suffering, yet, in this life. Especially not the tragic, life-changes-in-a-moment kind of suffering. But, only the Lord knows if it is coming. I’ve been thinking a lot about what I would want people to tell me if I do go through a crisis – and these are things that I think I would need to hear:
Tell me that there is a God in heaven, who made the heavens and the earth and all that is in them. Remind me that my crisis, my suffering, is not a surprise to Him, and that it has not happened outside of His control. Tell me that my God has a purpose in everything – my suffering included. Remind me that He is the God who sees everything – not one thing has ever escaped His attention. He sees me now.
Tell me about eternity. Send my mind reeling with the idea that there will be a time coming very soon where I will stand before the Lord and worship Him forever and ever – and that this earthly life will be but a mere breath, a vapor. Remind me that in His presence there will be no tears, no pain, no regrets but instead fullness of joy and pleasures forevermore.
Tell me that there is a Savior that suffered – a lot more than I can ever imagine. No matter how much suffering I am enduring, remind me that Jesus suffered so much more, infinitely more.
Tell me that He can comfort me because He knows my pain. He knows my suffering. Tell me that my Jesus is there.
Tell me that God loves me with a fierce love – the kind that rips open seas, that drowns armies, that throws hailstones from heaven, that shuts up lions’ mouths, that saves from consuming fires, that heals the lame, that feeds the hungry and that conquers death. Remind me that my God loves me like that. And that this God doesn’t change, nor does His love for me change. So, if He has ordained suffering in my life, He is still loving me – although I may not see it or understand it.
Tell me about the 10,000 things that God is doing in the midst of this. Remind me that I may not see the purpose in this suffering – that all may appear futile – but that is a lie. Just because I can’t see something doesn’t mean it’s not there. Tell me that He is at work and that He has purpose in everything. Nothing is futile in the life of a Christian.
And, when/if a crisis comes in my life, I may not want to hear these things. I might hate you. I may scream at you, I may cry, I may run away. But, please, tell me anyways. Because when I lie in bed at night and my thoughts are running all over the place and I want to run away and die or give up and drown in my sorrows, the only thing that will keep me going is to hope in these things. So, speak them to me. Pray them for me.
And I hope that I do the same for you.
When a little boy loves his daddy, he'll actually sit still! Those that know Noah know that his little body doesn't stop moving until bedtime... It was too precious to see how he just hugged on John when he saw his daddy for the first time in 10 days. 
And then there was Hunter's response... "What? Daddy was gone?" Don't worry John, Hunter loves you too! 
Playing with cups in the kitchen...
